I feel like a joke.

But not as big of a joke as you.

I really have to say that everything I thought about how people think and work, and everything I ever thought I knew in my gut was quite off track.

Its not fair that I felt so bad letting you go and feeling like I screwed up your life and your head.  But now I'm the one that will never believe in anything anymore.  I now don't know if I could trust when someone says they care about me.  And even if I do find something that felt so right I know everything, even against your gut feeling, can just be thrown away like it never happened in a moment. I hate feeling like I just was there to pass the time because you cant be alone.

It makes me mental that now I have to be the one fucked up when all i wanted to do is move forward and you can now be set for life.

It really makes me think I don't know anything about anything I've ever known and that makes me feel really really scared and small and lonely and lost.

I hope I don't feel like this for ever.